"Alright sweetheart."

Of all the stylish and ultimately 'cool' greetings that one could have chosen, I have chosen "Alright Sweetheart" which is about as formal as a chippy at the proms and leaves a bitter vocal after-taste not unlike the taste of fresh cider, seven hours later.
Why I did so is utterly beyond me because I don't really want to come off as a half-cut middle-aged man advancing on a gaggle of poor defenceless underage drinkers in their slinkiest primark-new. But I'm afraid I may have.

Now, you probably aren't actually falling for the ruse that any of what I just typed is just some careless mistake, and if you were, I'd kindly ask you to vacate my blog space now before I use the word 'flibbertijibbet' and your head explodes from the utter wrongness of such a word's existance, or the funny patterns it makes on your eye.


Flibbertijibbet.


There. Now that they're gone, hello, I'm Elliott.
I'm entirely new to 'blogging', being spurred into joining by a fellow youth who writes real good.
I would like to assure you, in the main, that I will try my utmost to avoid such boring matters as 'current affairs' and instead will focus on those things which are obviously the most important to social culture, ie. gossip and myself. I'll let you know about my hair, my favourite trends, my upcoming book tours (pending on writing of actual book), my upcoming stage tours (pending a record deal, and propa' lush tour bus), and of course, what happened recently on The Kardashians!


Actually, I'm kidding. Ha ha ha. Little poke there at teen culture, sure you're all on the floor veritably piddling your pants in hilarity.
But for real, I probably will just write about myself as it's the most readily available fodder to rake through, so I hope you do end up enjoying it. I also hope you understand that they will, in thoery, have more point than this one; I just had to start somewhere!